well, well you lot... it has been a while hasn't it... this is primarily because my little, incoherent creative brain has been other wise engaged.... leaving me at a complete blank with regards to what I should be writing on this blog.... I did have something I wanted to write, but got caught up doing some mindless work task that left me clutching for a knife so that I could hack my eyes out rather than bare another minute of stupid quality control.... grrrr.... needless to say, I forgot what I was going to write...
so, I have been really busy actually, with my garden that is, gardening rejuvinates my soul... it make me remember that life can be totally awesome, and that there are tasks out there that are so worth every minute you spend doing them... I had a major cleaning job to do, the aptly named ''lavender garden'' had become less lavender and more weed/conifer garden... it was a sad task whereby I had to rip out dead lavender plants, and hack back conifers ... leaving the garden a little sad to be honest... there were so many weeds that I did not even finish doing everything, and so the task will continue with zest this weekend ( Bring it on baby)...
I have also decided that the ''lavender garden'' will be needing a little remodelling ... gone are they days of my novice gardening plans, where the very fibre of my being was resolutely against the trimming of anything...under the guise of leaving things cottage style, I neglected to cut anything :) I loved it at that stage....I am now moving towards formal gardens, straight lines, clipped hedges, ponds, fountains.... that for me is now, the ways to go... I also like the idea of formal 'informal', where the the garden is kept "informal" in feel, but has elements of formality ... like clipped topairies, defined paths, general neatness.... This is what I am planning to explore with my lavender/formal/work in progress garden... so you'll have to wait a see what happens... I am really excitied. :)
other than that, life is pretty good, loving weekends....so I am ending this with a big smile :)
chat soon
26 May, 2009
14 May, 2009
the days of work
hey there everyone....
I really dont feel myself today....feeling very flat, unappreciated and depressed. ...this is primarily because of work... I mean, work is such an important part of one's life, we spend the majority of of waking hours slaving away for the man, all for the pleasure of completing a meaningful task and getting paid. I really thought that work would fufil me, I wanted to make a change...I wanted to be challenged everyday, and when I got home...to be tired, and perhaps complain about work, but still feel as if I was working towards a goal where I would get recognition, and I little importance...
This is not what has happended.....
my work is tedious, boring, I got giving the tasks of someone else because they left...and there was no one else to do them, I work my ass of doing the most boring data work... all with a title... but I get no recognition, and the woman who is my boss gets lauded for everything...including my work results....all under the guise that she is managing me... meanwhile I have worked here as long as she has, have the same qualifications, and have run the workplace without fault for months while she holidayed in mauritious for 2 months.... I feel like it is totally unfair.... to top it all, we are friends, and she moans constantly how she is unappreciated, and undervalued....
and when she gets 'iffy' she moans to the head of our workplace (who is always wanting to please her) and we all get shifted down in importance to satisfy her need to feel important....
I have not been idle about this either.... I have gone for interviews, and I am waiting to hear...I have even tried moving within the orgainisation.... but the block me from moving because apparently i am too "valuable"... I dont feel it.... and why should they block me, it should be my choice....
it is really frustrating me... plus, I pissed off someone last night by beng silly, and making statements that were harsh, and thoughtless....
dammit....
I really dont feel myself today....feeling very flat, unappreciated and depressed. ...this is primarily because of work... I mean, work is such an important part of one's life, we spend the majority of of waking hours slaving away for the man, all for the pleasure of completing a meaningful task and getting paid. I really thought that work would fufil me, I wanted to make a change...I wanted to be challenged everyday, and when I got home...to be tired, and perhaps complain about work, but still feel as if I was working towards a goal where I would get recognition, and I little importance...
This is not what has happended.....
my work is tedious, boring, I got giving the tasks of someone else because they left...and there was no one else to do them, I work my ass of doing the most boring data work... all with a title... but I get no recognition, and the woman who is my boss gets lauded for everything...including my work results....all under the guise that she is managing me... meanwhile I have worked here as long as she has, have the same qualifications, and have run the workplace without fault for months while she holidayed in mauritious for 2 months.... I feel like it is totally unfair.... to top it all, we are friends, and she moans constantly how she is unappreciated, and undervalued....
and when she gets 'iffy' she moans to the head of our workplace (who is always wanting to please her) and we all get shifted down in importance to satisfy her need to feel important....
I have not been idle about this either.... I have gone for interviews, and I am waiting to hear...I have even tried moving within the orgainisation.... but the block me from moving because apparently i am too "valuable"... I dont feel it.... and why should they block me, it should be my choice....
it is really frustrating me... plus, I pissed off someone last night by beng silly, and making statements that were harsh, and thoughtless....
dammit....
13 May, 2009
oh my f*&%@ing hell
ok, I am officially the most bored I have ever been....
I have tried to amuse myself it ten zillion ways, and still I am so bored.... to try and explain how I am feeling, I am feeling like my legs want tp get up and run away from my body...and I am getting tingles all over my body, that seem to be voting for me to get up from my desk, let out a gargantuous scream!!! (something like aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), jump up and run out the building, not looking back at all the people that will no doubt be wondering what the crazy white bloke is doing screaming and running in a mad cloud of legs, arms, uninterrupted screaming and general losing mindness.....
bloody hell....work today is impossible...in fact this whole week has been impossible, the work is either not there, or more of the same tedious, boring, insanely repetitive crap I do everyday.... i need:
a) a long holiday
b) a lot of alcohol
c) a comfortable couch and a TV
or, d) all of the above (hee hee)
I am really not a happy bunny.... what happened to the absolute bliss you used to get as a child from the most simple tasks.... the sand pit became the most amazing thing one could ever do... as we get older all that magic seems to disappear, and the monotony of work begins... how I wish my computer screen could give the the same magical bliss that that bloody sand pit used to give me.....
my personal lfe is good though ...no complaints there.... just that I wish I didn't have to work, and could instead become a garden designer, dig around in the dirt, plant gardens and be the happiest creature ever... in fact, I have decided that I should implement a 5 year plan... and that five year plan invloves me not working for the man anymore, and starting a garden service and potentially a nursery... I am adament I will achive this...
by the way my mom and sister resolved their issues...thankfully.... about 3 days after that last post..... I was ready to pound my head against any blunt object I could find...so kudo's to them for sorting that sh*t out :)
blah...back to the tedium........................ Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzz
I have tried to amuse myself it ten zillion ways, and still I am so bored.... to try and explain how I am feeling, I am feeling like my legs want tp get up and run away from my body...and I am getting tingles all over my body, that seem to be voting for me to get up from my desk, let out a gargantuous scream!!! (something like aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), jump up and run out the building, not looking back at all the people that will no doubt be wondering what the crazy white bloke is doing screaming and running in a mad cloud of legs, arms, uninterrupted screaming and general losing mindness.....
bloody hell....work today is impossible...in fact this whole week has been impossible, the work is either not there, or more of the same tedious, boring, insanely repetitive crap I do everyday.... i need:
a) a long holiday
b) a lot of alcohol
c) a comfortable couch and a TV
or, d) all of the above (hee hee)
I am really not a happy bunny.... what happened to the absolute bliss you used to get as a child from the most simple tasks.... the sand pit became the most amazing thing one could ever do... as we get older all that magic seems to disappear, and the monotony of work begins... how I wish my computer screen could give the the same magical bliss that that bloody sand pit used to give me.....
my personal lfe is good though ...no complaints there.... just that I wish I didn't have to work, and could instead become a garden designer, dig around in the dirt, plant gardens and be the happiest creature ever... in fact, I have decided that I should implement a 5 year plan... and that five year plan invloves me not working for the man anymore, and starting a garden service and potentially a nursery... I am adament I will achive this...
by the way my mom and sister resolved their issues...thankfully.... about 3 days after that last post..... I was ready to pound my head against any blunt object I could find...so kudo's to them for sorting that sh*t out :)
blah...back to the tedium........................ Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzz
06 May, 2009
ramblings....
hello out there
I think I have writers block....ALREADY.... lol.... so funny... It is so hard to think of things to write about all the time...I seriously do not know how people become writers for a living... it is just too difficult...
work is the same old thing over and over again and I am beginning to curse karma for not making my parents super loaded, so that I could pursue mindless activities like watching TV, reading, and a range of other mindless yet exciting activities that would make me super happy every moment of my life... that said... I would probably be a useless, good-for-nothing if that happened so I am grateful for that... I am applying for a new job position... hoping I get it, would love to have a bit more responsibility in my postion at work, I like my job, but seriously, if its not a bit more brain exciting I think I will end up losing the remainder of the few marbles still rolling around in my head.
So, my life is a bit tiring at the moment....my mother is having the biggest fight with my dear ol'sister and her husband, and seeing that they live with us...it makes life a lot painful! I mean, in order to fully grasp they idea of this...let me introduce you to my clan....
My dad: the typical paternal figure...love cars, all manly activities and is very level-headed. He is normally calm, and collected but can be a serious pessimist at times.... which is so painful. We have little in commen when it comes to loving cars, motor bikes etc... but we both share a passion for history that connects us....
My Mom: A great woman. I love her dearly, but she can be overly-sensitive, and have the tendency to take any form of diagreement with her as a sign that we do not love her anymore... this is tiring. She is generous, and very loving.... but when angry becomes a screamer.... will shout you down, and refuse to listen...AWWW...can drive you mad...
My sister: can be the most humble, and compassionate person the one minute, and an evil, spoilt manipulative little gremlin the next. She is three years my senior, but sometimes I feel like I am the older one... she will tell the tallest tale and then act all innocent... my mother and her can RAGE at one another...
My brother-in-law: well, he is full of good iintention, but is quite possibly the one human being on this planet capable of annoying the living crap out of me....rage!!!! Grrrr!!!
so, now that you have been introduced:
My mom and sister are haing a huge fight at the moment...both think they are right, both have valid, good argument points, but both have gone completely overboard about the whole issue... they have been screaming at one another for 4 days now... and with neither willing to conceed a moral defeat.... it looks set to continue for at least another 3 days.... give me strength...for me the whole thing is ridiculous and fighting, and screaming because the one offended the other because she was cross that my brother-in-law disappeared for a whole day, leaving my mother to have to take my sister all over the place to complete tasks that he was supposed to complete with my sister.... is silly... shouldn't you be shouting at him, and loving each other??? or am I just not understanding this correctly... hmmmm.... confusion reigns.... seems to me, the person who started the crap is not getting any of the screaming at...
they (my sister and mother) need to sort it out...and get back to loving each other.... and considering me the deviant one...lol.....
Anyways, at least I have a special person that can keep me semi grounded when I want to throttle the life out of those silly ladies.... so thanks to that very special, and important person...
ok... time to get to work, and continue reading the flurry of emails that I get sent about why the one is wrong and the other is right and vice versa... :)
I think I have writers block....ALREADY.... lol.... so funny... It is so hard to think of things to write about all the time...I seriously do not know how people become writers for a living... it is just too difficult...
work is the same old thing over and over again and I am beginning to curse karma for not making my parents super loaded, so that I could pursue mindless activities like watching TV, reading, and a range of other mindless yet exciting activities that would make me super happy every moment of my life... that said... I would probably be a useless, good-for-nothing if that happened so I am grateful for that... I am applying for a new job position... hoping I get it, would love to have a bit more responsibility in my postion at work, I like my job, but seriously, if its not a bit more brain exciting I think I will end up losing the remainder of the few marbles still rolling around in my head.
So, my life is a bit tiring at the moment....my mother is having the biggest fight with my dear ol'sister and her husband, and seeing that they live with us...it makes life a lot painful! I mean, in order to fully grasp they idea of this...let me introduce you to my clan....
My dad: the typical paternal figure...love cars, all manly activities and is very level-headed. He is normally calm, and collected but can be a serious pessimist at times.... which is so painful. We have little in commen when it comes to loving cars, motor bikes etc... but we both share a passion for history that connects us....
My Mom: A great woman. I love her dearly, but she can be overly-sensitive, and have the tendency to take any form of diagreement with her as a sign that we do not love her anymore... this is tiring. She is generous, and very loving.... but when angry becomes a screamer.... will shout you down, and refuse to listen...AWWW...can drive you mad...
My sister: can be the most humble, and compassionate person the one minute, and an evil, spoilt manipulative little gremlin the next. She is three years my senior, but sometimes I feel like I am the older one... she will tell the tallest tale and then act all innocent... my mother and her can RAGE at one another...
My brother-in-law: well, he is full of good iintention, but is quite possibly the one human being on this planet capable of annoying the living crap out of me....rage!!!! Grrrr!!!
so, now that you have been introduced:
My mom and sister are haing a huge fight at the moment...both think they are right, both have valid, good argument points, but both have gone completely overboard about the whole issue... they have been screaming at one another for 4 days now... and with neither willing to conceed a moral defeat.... it looks set to continue for at least another 3 days.... give me strength...for me the whole thing is ridiculous and fighting, and screaming because the one offended the other because she was cross that my brother-in-law disappeared for a whole day, leaving my mother to have to take my sister all over the place to complete tasks that he was supposed to complete with my sister.... is silly... shouldn't you be shouting at him, and loving each other??? or am I just not understanding this correctly... hmmmm.... confusion reigns.... seems to me, the person who started the crap is not getting any of the screaming at...
they (my sister and mother) need to sort it out...and get back to loving each other.... and considering me the deviant one...lol.....
Anyways, at least I have a special person that can keep me semi grounded when I want to throttle the life out of those silly ladies.... so thanks to that very special, and important person...
ok... time to get to work, and continue reading the flurry of emails that I get sent about why the one is wrong and the other is right and vice versa... :)
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